Caught Him With A Corndog: Get Ready Turkey Lovers

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

It's almost heeeere...

Banned Words

amazing: It's amazing just how much this word is overused to describe the mundane. Amazingly, it's one of Katie Holme's buzzwords taught to her by Tom which in turn catapults the fake factor of this adjective to stratospheric heights.
any word + phobia: "Phobia" implys an irrational fear. I can dislike something without being afraid of it. Take tomato gravy for instance. Blech. Not scary, just yucky.
chillaxin': Grow up. Also banned elsewhere.
creamy: Disgusting.
delicious: Too stupid to say out loud.
hump: Completely devoid of couth. Incidentally I prefer to call it "Wednesday" like the civilized do. "Hump". That's what a dog does. To your leg.
indulge: Huh-uh (gag).
moist: BLEAH!
progressive: For socialist insinuations and the stupid commercials.
scrumptious: NO.
sensual: Saying this word has the opposite effect of its meaning so save yourself the embarrassment.
slick: It just sounds pervy.
slurp: Gross to say, gross to hear, gross to do. GROSS.
smoothie: Augh! Like nails to a chalk board. (gag)
squat: The mental imagery alone should be enough of a reason as to why.
staycation: Some pollyanna marketing dolt thought this one up to remind people how broke they are.
succulent: Gross-ulent.
throng: Say it out loud and you'll know why. Incidentally when hymns have this word in the lyrics I skip over it. I don't even mouth it. I'm steadfast in my denial of this word.
utilize: A popular amateur resume catch-word guaranteed to ensure an immediate trip to the trash can.
vacay: The verbal equivalent of wearing crocs.
veggies: Overuse of this abbreviation makes my spine crawl. Using it makes us all sound like three-year olds.

These Words Are on Probation

brunch: "Un". Unappetizing, unappealing, unpalatable."B-r-r-rrrrrunch!" See? Sounds like a big nasty fart.
sculpt: This isn't banned only due to the infrequency of it's usage. Say it a few times though and you'll hear what I'm talking about. Gah! Makes my spine cringe and my ears close.
shrimp: People either say "scrimp", srimp", or "swimps". If you cannot enunciate, order something else.
warm: Overused to the nth on greeting cards everywhere. What flashes in my mind is someone in dark slacks who has just peed himself. That's a 'Hallmark moment' I think we can all pass on.

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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Get Ready Turkey Lovers

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